Spontaneous Rasslin Prose 001

Cue the jazz. So I watched me a dose of wrestling including the second half of Impact, all of Smackdown, and ROH on HDNet from last week and about 5 minutes of SUPERSTARS. WHAT DO I REMEMBER? Impact was largely the Foley show with Mick running around acting all tough and crazy trying to keep his job and oh no what’s his name? Tall staught dude NASH! was trying to get his boys back in the show but Bisch and Hogan said they were no good and they’d had their four or five chances already (AND THAT’S A SHOOT, BROTHER) oh and another wink wink from Bisch after Eric Young left the room, “I ain’t gonna remember his name in the morning!” HAR HAR cause see EB is coming in with all his boys and clearing house then we got a Samoa Joe and PIMP clearing house with the Natch and the Not So Natch and really Joe looks not so crazy when he tries to be intense I just want to see him beat people up no talking and man really i already know what i’d look like with my shirt off running around a wrestling ring so please keep those things to yourself dear god please it’s just not the same when you’re wearing jeans and dress shoes speaking of body image issues mr tomko seems to be getting wider but still seems to be fairly well defined? not sure what is going on there and then i remember watching mick come out with his kiddy barbed wire bat and Kevin Nash coming out with a grocery cart full of HARDCORE WEAPONS!@# but then I fell asleep and who knows what the hell happened maybe both men decided that match would be their defining moment and they’d throw it all out there and go for the gold and wrestle that five star classic both had been talking doing with each other for years but really vince was holding them back and now hogan was here and maybe they’d never get the chance to do it again so yeah i’ll probably be voting for this for WON match of the year next year. Finally woke up from that Saturday afternoon nap and did the SUPER QUICK DVR FF version of this weeks Smackdown but did dig the Jericho/Edge promo business and really who didn’t expect Edge NOT to pop up from behind that NEWSPAPER! But POP! There was a POP! Was he always over as the tweener? Then I think much FF commenced as I don’t really give two whatevers about Elimination Chamber nor it’s qualifying matches. Let me tell you what I decided should happen to WM booking (came up with this doozy while FFing the DVR) – KILL the PPV between the two. KILL IT. I’m guessing the hype you could create for WM without having to focus on a PPV inbetween Rumble and WM would exceed the buys you’d get normally get. And man those 5 man cage matches just have such cluster booking I stop caring and just wait to sort out who wins and find out what’s next. Kane. FF. Rey wrestling Dolph? FF. What didn’t I FF through? CM Punk, as usual. I fully expect Punker to get soundly whooped by THE ANIMAL but mysterious booking leads us to Dave getting himself counted out. Or maybe it’s not a mystery and I just FF through the answer. And then we end our 30 minute Smackdown with a GONG a really I i think someone else came out? Punk? What’s up with this booking I can’t remember the details? Give me the Road Warriors jamming a spike in Dusty’s eye, please. And we end the afternoon marathon of rasslin with ROH on HDNET starting with a rerun of Jim C announcing a really stupid gimmick for Aries and Black involving some judges and what is sure to be a cluster of a booking or maybe they’ll SWERVE us with NO CLUSTER or maybe they’ll DOUBLE SWERVE us with no time-limit draw then open with rhett vs delirious and i really want delirious to get a push guy’s got charisma over like hell think the guy would get over even more running with the belt also wondered why this guy hasn’t gotten anywhere in wwe or tna got an original gimmick and the look but does have a hard time with the cradle mich driver on rhett and his long long legs. steen cuts a promo on sugar legs foot whatever and man i hate listening to that guy talking can someone tell me what it is? i know one problem is that he’s a bad father and skipped his kid’s birthday party to go to an roh show in chicago. AND YOU NAMED YOUR KID OWEN. Strong/Black was solid and really enjoyed Aries goofy antics including throwing popcorn in the ring and the SUPERKICK OF DOOM to Aries and the wine class. Not happy about the ROH title scene in the near future with the possibilities of both Black as the champion in like a week and Strong in the title scene. Late night viewing has commenced and now enjoying PWG Sells Out (from Netflix) with Samoa Joe/Danielson in what appears to be a Freshman orientation room. There’s about 15 people in the crowd and I can hear Joe and Brian talk to each while I also listen to the crowd make in joke to each other. JUST DON’T STAND ON THAT GUYS DVD, JOE. COME ON. And the self-aware indie smark is what is killing pro wrestling, man. Damn these kids and their self-referential post-modern commentary from the crowd.

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